Day One: 

Whereby I Come By My Road Rage Honestly

 

I got a late start...which was less than ideal considering I was now cued up for Chicago-land rush hour traffic.

But maybe I should start with the beginning...?  A quick and dirty review, perhaps, of the past

two weeks and how I come to have a car-load of life headed west?

I've spent the past (almost) two years in Cleveland, working for a nonprofit historic preservation organization.  Yes, this is right up my (professional) alley, but I needed a change.  Well...more, I needed a change from the swiftly spiraling out of control management of Program I was responsible for running and operating.  There were a couple of extra steps in between my previous employment and what's led me to Colorado, but suffice it to say that I managed to land a job (in my field!) in Denver, CO.  

So,  now I'm on the road, westward bound.  Which, unfortunately, sent me through Chicago during rush hour.  I SHOULD have missed this spectacular natural phenomenon.  However, it took me a bit longer to get everything packed up this morning than I thought it would (Pro Tip: It always takes you longer to pack up for a cross-country move).  

Chicago drivers are a unique breed.  I have experienced drivers from many corners of the nation, and each regional driving style and demeanor is a special little flower of quirks and insanity.  For example, you can count on experiencing the following oddities in these grand American cities:

• Los Angeles, CA - Supremely aggressive drivers who take great pleasure in swerving from one lane to another to get ahead of you by (usually) no more than one car length per mile driven.
• Austin, TX - Fairly normal drivers, though any aggressive drivers you may encounter are about 75% more likely to have a gun in their car and may (certainly) show it to you if you piss them off.
• Savannah, GA - Tourists + Squares + Bikes & Pedestrians = Cluster.
• Seattle, WA - Worst drivers ever.  Seriously.  Ask any person who lives in Seattle, but isn't from there, and they will tell you that Seattle drivers are uniquely suited to having no idea of what they are doing, besides actively getting in your way and being confused about what in the hell they are doing with the round thing in their hands.
• Cleveland, OH - Actually, normally polite drivers.  Occasionally clueless, but generally inobstructive.

Which brings me to my  hometown of Chicago, and how growing up here completely explains my propensity for defensive driving and yelling and gesticulating at other drivers.  You see, Chicago drivers are exceedingly aggressive.  And, I'd hazard to say that they could be dangerous if it was not for one thing; Chicago drivers are also very competent drivers.  It really makes no sense when I think about it.  With the complete and utter disregard of traffic laws and common decency, you would think that Chicago's streets and highways would be perpetually littered with blood stains and broken glass (though, I haven't actually done any research on this, so it is possible that Chicago does actually have a higher number of accidents...but somehow I don't think that this is the case).  But no.  Everyone is a rage-y asphalt god, swerving and cutting one another off in a delicate ballet of stupidity and beautifully effective movement from one place to another.

I learned well, and it really only takes about 2/10ths of a second for these latent skills to kick back in.
Thank you Chicago for the refresher course. I wonder what new skills Denver will bring.